Friday, March 4, 2011

4 Large Men With Six Long Wraps

Wrap and Roll:
The Long and Hard Challenge
Here at Heartichokers we pride ourselves in finding not only the best food, but the best candidates to consume said food. In today’s episode we find ourselves and a merry combination of both.
No food has proven to rise up to the Heartichoker standard as brilliantly as the Wrap and Roll. Specifically, their undeniably beasty Philly Cheese Steak Roll. A feisty combination of beef, cheese, and assorted spices, wrapped in your classic burrito, and deep fried to suit the real mans diet.
True, deep frying has come to be common place in the world of fatty foods, however un like ice cream and oreos, the deep fried burritos find themselves unique, in that the the oils, and fat which ussually drip out of cheese, and the other natural substances inside burritos, are held inside. Whatsmore, their flavor, and all around beasty fattitude, is doubled, by the deep frying process.
Now you may ask. How could this 7 inch roll, deep fried as it may be, hold a candle to the monstrosities previously served on Heartichokers? Well, it takes a real man to appreciate the Wrap and Roll Philly Cheese Steak, but it takes a Heartichoker to appreciate 7. That’s right, 7, 7 inch Burritos, stacked together to provide the classic and undeniably fatty experience, unique to all Heartichoker meals.
In the search for Real Men, or should I say, True Heartichokers, our staff found, and filmed, 4 of the most real men found in Ateneo Today. Basket Ball Team B’s Frantz Dy and Jervis tan, are athletes first, and Die Hard Food Enthusiasts second. Chiyo Raymundo, having been raised under the founders of Burgoo, knows nothing of the will to stop devouring fast foods. Our final Contestant? Kirk Long. Half man, Half White.
The battle of heartichoker supremacy took the pace of a long distance marathon. Though many expected the relentless Frantz Dy, or the largely popular Kirk Long to take the cake, it would be the unstoppable stomach and appetite of one Jervis Tan that would capture the title, of Heartiest Heartichoker.

Special thanks to Wrap N Roll for providing the wraps and congratulations for winning the JSEC challenge! Missed a chance to try out their delicious wraps? Catch them at JSEC starting this summer till next year, school year 2011-2012!!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Krispy, Kreamey, Killer.

One of the most awaited course of any meal is the dessert. There is something about this course that miraculously gives people the will to eat even if they're already full. In this episode, two people take the dessert course to the extreme! Combining snacks and desserts into what seems to be a "crepe" gone wild. Take three krispy kreme donuts, stuff the insides with silvanas, cover it with half a gallon of ice cream, top it off with nips, and what do you get? A Krispy, Kreamey, Killer. Will these two people be able to finish this delightful dessert? Watch the episode below to find out. Enjoy!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Ep 3. My Big Piece of Meat

The Sub That Should Be.
Here at heartichokers we take a sense of pride in creativity, and invest a dire amount of passion into our endevours. However, none of our past projects hold a candle, to the beasty monstoristy that is the Big Meat. It is the marriage of oil, fat, cow and a labor of love produced only by those capable of feeling for the food they make. An amalgamation of 15 burger patties, two pork chops, one bag of mushrooms, one pack of bacon, one block of cheese, and dare I say? A shit load of oil.
The process of its creation was an endeavor most surprising to the heatichokers staff. Having never fried so many meats in one pan, the staff was forced to enduldge, and pour cup after cup of oil into the mixture, in an attempt to deep fry the said meats. Our pioneer staff of innovative young gentlemen expected the oil to simply come to a boil, and fry what was inside. However, God willed otherwise, and the oil was absorbed into the meats, as if the universe itself was screaming HEARTICHOKE.
Without doubt, and without fear, our brave staff took each bite knowing truly, that each oil chomp brought them closer to meeting their maker. However, as it was Gods Good Will, he did not take our brave souls on this day. Rather he blessed them once again with the gift of HEARTICHOKE.
Diego Nepumuceno, is well feared in the Jiu Jitsu circuit as both a submission specialist, and a general all around Bad Ass Mofo, however, to this day, he has yet to have an opponent as beastly and as die hard, as the Big Meat.
He confides to the Heartichoker Public:
“So much oil… So much Goodness… It was almost too much.”
Chino Santos, an ex Babble Lifter, and all around Sexy Beast furthers the point by stating “What we did today was Divine. But like most things divine, It held both an un wavering beauty… and a godly wrath to which I can attest…”
Both men are now heralded today as heroes of the Heartichoker experience. Their Sons shall be hailed for their fathers courage, as what was done on this day, surpasses time and memorial, as the biggest meat ever meated by a meat eating meat eater.
We salute you. You fine. Fine Young Gentlemen.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Man VS Burger

Sometimes there is a need for man to prove his superiority around the world, even if it involves challenges to be made. This time, man takes on a different challenge. A challenge that does not require the use of weapons nor fighting ability, but requires the ability to eat fast, really fast. Today, man challenges a burger! In a battle that changes reality, man must finish eating a monster burger made up of 2 half pound patties within 4 minutes. Who will win this epic battle? Watch the video below to see the result!


Heatichokers will now take challenges from different establishments every other week! If there's anything you want to see us demolish or see us demolished by, feel free to let us know about it!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Feel free to suggest recipes and future atrocities.

Feel free to suggest your own recipes and atrocities! We'll do episodes on them as often as we can!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Atrocity

Classic Filipino favorites such as Crisy Pata, Lechon Kawali and Pork Sisig all have one thing in common, an incredibly high DELICIOUS amount of fat content. And what do you get when you couple these three gods of pork dishes with perfectly seasoned Adobo Rice? You end up with... The Atrocity. Something utterly wicked, brutal and barbaric (from Merriam-webster itself) that would be happy to both torture and please you at the same time.

Note: No hearts and other important organs were that badly hurt in the making of this atrocious beast of a burrito.

My stomach has never met a foe as wicked as The Atrocity even after 19 years of training myself to consume food left and right. Sadly, The Atrocity was able to conquer me. Despite slaying the beast, my stomach couldn't handle the wounds and had to.. puke. Awesome.